No Surprise
by giddy-scribbler
Summary: It's hard enough for Cuddy running a hospital, having a 5 year old child and a boyfriend who acts like a 5 year old. But now she has to endure Max, a slimy middle age man who won't leave her alone. Creepy is just the beginning...
1. Chapter 1

**Hey guys! It's been like a year since I last posted on here! Sorry for the huge gap. I had started another story that was quite a bit through, but like you I've completely lost it now. Had no idea what I was going to write. But I've just had such a hectic year I've literally had no time. But I had some spare so I thought I'd start writing again. I will go back to my old story and see if I can pick it up and finish it but for now, you have hopefully a new little gem to read.**

**Many thanks and reviews and opinions are always welcome! Hope you enjoy!**

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"Broken arm?" The little girl asked after pulling back the curtain.  
"Er, yer... who are you?" The man asked grasping his arm in pain as he lay in a bed in the ER of Princeton Plainsboro Teaching Hospital.  
"Rachel," she replied. "But I'm not supposed to talk to strangers."  
"Well you're the one who pulled back my curtain." The man replied quite amused.  
"I thought there was a little girl behind here. Sounded like my friend at school when she screams. Come on, it's only a broken arm, was there any need to scream like that?"  
"Well... it was dislocated too actually." He replied stunned at how confident this girl was.  
"Then the scream should have been loud but short. Your scream was several screams. We're you just looking for attention? I do that when I want attention. Well I don't scream but I make several loud noises over a longer time."

The man just stared at the little girl. She couldn't be more than five surely!

* * *

"Right, you finished reading that..." House began speaking as he walked into his office. However he stopped dead when he saw the sight in front of him.

"Why am I surprised?" He sighed to himself.

His office was a complete tip, books lay all over the floor, as well as his mac book and old wrappers of sweets. He looked to the corner of the room to see some children's toys, all untouched. He glanced at his computer screen to see that Rachel had drawn a picture of himself, Wilson, Cuddy and his ducklings. He outwardly laughed at the size of Taub's nose that she had depicted. He picked the Mac off the floor and printed the picture after he set it back on his desk. As he sat down, Cuddy suddenly stormed in.

"Right I'm done now."  
"Awesome, I was thinking in the clinic this time. The doors have locks so that rules out being caught, but I prefer living dangerously..."  
"House, I'm not having sex with you in the clinic."  
"You had sex with me on the roof..."  
"That was a one-off that you were not going to mention..."  
"And in the cleaning cupboard..."  
"That wasn't really sex..."  
"It was sex...ual."  
"Someone won't be getting any sex if he doesn't shut up." She sat down in front of him, then suddenly her smirk turned into a frown as she looked frantically around the room.  
"Where's Rachel?"  
"You're guess is as good as mine."  
"House!"  
"Cuddy!"

She glared at him as she stood up in a hurry.

"Calm down, she's still in the hospital. Oh you should see this picture she drew. She really got my rugged, handsome looks down to a tee."  
"House, Rachel is missing and you're talking about a picture she made!"  
"She's not missing, how many times has she wandered off round the hospital."  
"Several! And every time is when you were supposed to be looking after her."  
"Yes, and where does she go every time?"

House now stood up and grabbed his cane as he walked out the room, Cuddy hot on his heels.

* * *

Cuddy literally ran into the ER. She looked around and saw blood, screaming and pain, all from a number of people waiting to be seen. This was no place for a child! This kind of thing could scar her for life!

"Mum!" Rachel shouted spotting her mother.

As Cuddy turned around she let out a squeal seeing her daughter. She had a cast on one leg as she held a crutch, her arm in a sling and a bandage around her forehead.

"What the hell happened?" She shouted crouching down to her daughter.

Rachel giggled.

"Mum, they're not real. You fool for it every time! The med students needed someone to practice on! They taught me loads of things... look." She held up her arm in the sling. "I have a broken ulna and radius! And my skull is actually called my cranium, which I already knew but forgot. But I'll remember it this time." She smiled.

House had finally walked in with a drink in his hand. He obviously had stopped off to buy a slushy. Not at all worried about Rachel, he knew she'd be fine. After all, he was the one who introduced her to the ER.

"Looking good squirt." House said.  
"Thanks limpy."  
"Hey, bit offensive!" House retaliated.  
"So is squirt. You keep calling me squirt, I'll keep calling you limpy."  
"I guess that's fair enough." House nodded.

"Can you sort her out of these bandages, I need to go... somewhere." Cuddy interrupted and walked off.

House and Rachel looked at one another and decided to follow Cuddy. They both limped as fast as possible after her. Quite a site for the other nurses working who couldn't help but giggle.

House and Rachel pressed their ears up against a door Cuddy had just walked into. She had started shouting at a bunch of med students.

"How many times do I have to tell you? Stop deforming my child!"

The pair of them giggled as they heard her shout.

"Come on then, let's get you out of these bandages."

Rachel pouted. "That doesn't work on me, I created that look!" House replied.

Cuddy left the med students, quite frankly, frightened. You don't get on the wrong side of Cuddy. As she sighed leaving the room she rested against a wall to get her heartbeat back to somewhat a normal human rhythm.

"Hi Lisa," a man's breath whispered past her ear making her jump. She looked to her right to see a man in his forties, dark hair with a smug look on his face.  
"Oh hi Max."  
"You look, flustered." He said putting an arm around her lower back.

Cuddy moved away from him.

"I'm fine thank you. What are you doing here?"  
"Just seeing if my money is being put to good use." He smirked glancing briefly at her chest.

Cuddy felt sick! She hated this man but his money did help the hospital. So she continued to be polite.

House was busy taking off Rachel's bandages in a spare side room but she begged him to leave the cast on. Truth was, he couldn't attempt to cut it yet as it still wasn't fully dry.

"Fine." He huffed after much whining by Rachel.  
"Thank you!" She shouted and leapt off the bed and ran (as best she could) to find her mother.  
"Oi! Squirt, wait!" House called after her, but it didn't take him long to catch up as Rachel had stopped in the middle of the ER.  
"What's wrong?" House asked.

Rachel pointed towards her mother and Max. He was dangerously close to her and she was trying to squirm out of his persistent slimy grip.

"I don't like that man." She said. "There's just something eww about him! He keeps showing up too."  
"What?" House asked.  
"At our house. Mum hates him too."

Cuddy looked on angered. Why the hell hadn't Cuddy told him about this guy. And how had he not noticed, he practically lived at Cuddy's now.


	2. Chapter 2

**Thanks for all the great reviews. The last line of that first chapter should have been "House looked on in anger." Lol I just read it back.**

**I'm so glad you're enjoying it, hope you like this chapter. I still don't know where I'm going to take this myself so I'm looking forward to it too lol. Again reviews are grealty appreciated as well as comments and opinions. But hope you enjoy :)**

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"Sorry Max, I've really got to go. But feel free to see our great work here in the ER."  
"I'd rather see the clinic." He smirked full well knowing that's where Cuddy's office was.  
"Well, sorry I can't chat anymore. I've got a couple of meetings I need to prepare for."

And with that she took the opportunity to escape his slimy grip.

She looked around to see if she could find House or Rachel but they had disappeared again. So she decided to head to her office. She needed to get some paperwork sorted before the end of the day and she was already behind. She walked in and headed straight to her desk. As she sat down she jumped out of her skin.

"Really Cuddy, you're still surprised when I hang out in your office." House smiled laying on her sofa.  
"Sorry, I didn't expect someone to just be laying in the dark in a supposedly locked office."  
"Well you should, this is the 6th time this week."  
"I know, I curse myself for being so naive. Where's Rachel?"  
"With Wilson and the ducklings. She just called Taub an idiot. I was so proud."

Cuddy shook her head. He wasn't proud when she got top marks at school, he hardly acknowledged that achievement in fact. But he was proud when her daughter called someone an idiot.

House suddenly sat up as he had noticed Cuddy had got back to her paperwork. Now seemed a good enough time to bring up Max, though he didn't know his name yet, she was only doing paperwork.

"Who was that guy you were talking to in the ER?"  
"Max," She replied. She knew where this was going so she decided to tell him the truth in one big go. She hadn't been lying previously she just thought there was no need to bring it up. "He donates quite a bit to this hospital,"  
"So he thinks he has the right to feel up the Dean because he's given a couple of grand." House interrupted.  
"A couple of million actually over the years. And no he wasn't feeling me up." She put her pen down and looked at him. "He's just... slimy." She shivered.  
"Why's he been round your house?"  
"Are you asking because you think I've been unfaithful or your concerned?" Blunt maybe, but she was a busy woman.  
"No, I know the twins belong to me."  
"So you're concerned?"  
"Yes."

That surprised her.

"I don't want the twins fondled by anyone else."

That didn't.

"He came round a couple of times about donating more money, but I told him politely to seek me out at work rather than my home. He got the idea but now he just seems to be here all the time. How did you know about him coming to my house anyway?"

House looked to the ceiling acting innocent.

"Ah, your partner in crime of course." Cuddy laughed referring to Rachel. "You know Wilson's going to feel pretty left out when I tell him he's been replaced."

House got up and walked over to her desk and leaned down on it.

"You wouldn't."

Cuddy mimicked House's actions.

"Wouldn't I?"

* * *

Max looked on into Cuddy's office. He was standing against the nurses' station with his arms folded and getting more and more angry by House's interaction with Cuddy.

Suddenly an overwhelming pain shot through his foot.

"Shit!" He shouted then looked down to see what had caused it.  
"So sorry mister!" Rachel said yet smiling.

She had used her crutch to stump his toe. Some people had looked at the two briefly to see what had happened but soon got on with their day.

"You little brat!" He whispered at her angrily but aware not to raise his voice.  
"I said sorry sir." She still smiled.  
"You did that on purpose!"  
"Where's your proof?" She asked.

The man then raised his hand into the air, as if he was ready to strike the child. Rachel's smile disappeared. Suddenly Wilson burst into the clinic.

"Rachel! There you are. I wish you'd stop wondering off."

The man put his arm down quickly.

"Sorry." She replied and hurried to Wilson as quickly as possible and hid behind him. He then looked to the man.  
"Is everything ok?"  
"Fine." Max replied. "She accidentally stomped on my toe with her crutch. I swore as a reaction and must have scared her." He said through gritted teeth.

Wilson looked to Rachel who was now transfixed on the man and shaking. He picked her up so she looked in the opposite direction. He didn't like this man straight away. And he knew Rachel well. She hung out with House too much, and she's heard swear words so that would definitely not have scared her. She would have probably blamed the man's foot for getting in the way of her crutch.

"Well, it was obviously an accident so let's leave it there." Wilson said and nodded at the man as he walked past him and towards Cuddy's office.

Rachel still was being carried in Wilson's arms and as they walked into the office she saw Max smile which sent shivers down her spine.


	3. Chapter 3

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Thanks once more for such great reviews! I think you can see where this is going but I'll hopefully add in a few twists to keep you all on tenderhooks! Please keep comments coming and any suggestions or even things you hate and i'll try to include things. This is much your story as mine as your reading it! :)

**Hope you enjoy part 3! What lengths will this Max go to? Is Rachel safe? So many questions and so many answers :)**

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A knock on her door pulled Cuddy back into reality and realised she had once again been pulled in by House's games and they were now making out in her office. Something she said she would always separate, work and personal life.

Wilson walked in after announcing his presence.

"Seriously guys, I'm happy for you honestly, but I don't want to see that!"

House turned around and smiled.

"You're just jealous you're not getting any!"  
"I'm married!" Wilson replied obviously as he put Rachel down.  
"Exactly!"

Rachel ran over to her mum and climbed up onto her lap.

"When can we go home?" She asked.  
"Soon honey." Cuddy replied.

It was the summer holidays and Cuddy hated getting a sitter for Rachel now that she was older. She never really caused havoc around the hospital and was very mature for her age. She just liked to wonder and learn new things.

"I thought you liked it here?" Cuddy asked.  
"I do, I just..."

Rachel thought to herself. She had been scared by Max but didn't want to worry her mother, she was young but she knew how much responsibility and stress Cuddy already had to deal with.

"I just do. I'm hungry that's all."

Cuddy dived into her bag by her desk and pulled out an apple.

Rachel stared at the fruit for a second before turning to House and rolling her eyes.

"When I said I was hungry mother, I didn't mean I wanted fruit. It was a hint for sweets." She placed the apple on the desk, folded her arms and pouted.  
Cuddy laughed. "Well at least you're honest I guess."

Rachel hoped off her lap. "House gives me sweets." She whispered purposely loud.

House and Wilson had just begun discussing House's new patient when he heard what Rachel said.

"Hey!" He said. "Do you not know what don't tell your mother means?"

Cuddy just glared at House causing Rachel to laugh!

"Control your child woman!" He pointed at Cuddy and turned to leave with Wilson in tow.  
"I've tried, believe me, but he's just uncontrollable."

He had noticed the reference to himself rather than Rachel and turned to Wilson.

"See what she did, she said he, referring to me acting like a child. Funny!" He said sarcastically and continued to leave with Wilson shaking his head but amused all the same.

The two men continued to chat as they walked out of the clinic. However before they reached the door, House suddenly felt himself falling and smacked hard on the floor. He immediately felt embarrassed more than anything. He spun around to see a man sitting on a patient chair stand up.

"Oh my, I'm so sorry!" Max said grinning the entire time.

House now felt anger bubble through him, that was no accident that's for sure. He bolted up easily with the adrenaline pumping through him but Wilson put a hand across his chest to stop him from pouncing.

"You must be Dr. House." Max extended a hand but House refused it. "Dr. Cuddy has told me great things about you. Others have told me, well let's say, not so great."  
"You are you?" Wilson asked confused by this man and at the second meeting of him this day.  
"Max Richmond. All round wealthy son of a bitch." He laughed evilly almost, at his unamusing joke however very precise description. "I donate to this hospital."  
"Oh well how very fucking generous of you." House's raised voice and use of language caught the attention of some of the nurses.  
"I don't care for you language sir."  
"I don't care for your appropriately placed leg either."  
"I thought we cleared that up as an accident."  
"You did. I on the other hand think you're a slimy rich arsehole who flashes his cash to feel up the Dean of this hospital. Oh and I think the trip was on purpose. Sorry, went slightly off topic there."

Max was beyond angered now but knew better than to attack a Doctor in front of a room full of witnesses.

"Well, it was obviously an accident so let's leave it there." He said, echoing Wilson's previous words. This didn't go unnoticed by Wilson and Max smiled at him as he turned around and walked off.

"What did he mean by that?" asked House noticing the sub text of the sentence.  
"I caught him talking to Rachel. She was obviously spooked by the man. She had stumped his toe with the cane apparently and I said that exact same sentence to him."

Both men turned back to look where Max had just left and a shiver went down their spines.

* * *

Max had no intention of going anywhere. He wanted to see Cuddy. He'd had a crush on her for years, ever since college and now after tracking her down and spending years trying to butter her up but donating millions to her hospital, he wasn't going to let some cripple take her from him.

He'd hated House back then. He hated how he was smug and arrogant yet always got the girl. Max was your classic geek. He knew that, and resented how dumb guys always got the girl. But what really wound him up was how House wasn't dumb. He was god dam near genius! This angered him to the point of insanity.

He'd slowly watched their relationship develop over the last year. He hadn't really done much about his crush until he saw the pair of them getting closer, so that's what made him begin to hang around a bit too much. He thought it was romantic in some way, others knew it was just plain creepy.

* * *

Cuddy arrived home with Rachel just after six. She left the office a little earlier that night as she could not stand Rachel whining anymore. She'll never know whether introducing House to her was the best thing, she could see herself having two House's on her hands and she wasn't sure if she or the world in fact, could take that.

Rachel still had her cast on, much to Cuddy's annoyance and she'd told her they'd have to go into the hospital earlier for her to have it removed- hence Rachel's current mood.

"I don't understand." Rachel said taking off her coat and placing it on the hook by the door. "How is this cast affecting anyone except myself? And I don't see it as a problem so why should you? I'm not being rude but it makes no sense."

Cuddy smiled, although it was evident House had been an influence on her little girl, she was glad she spoke her mind, and that was a trait she had too. She also added how she was not being rude, something of course House would never say. She was still Cuddy's little girl.

"What's funny?" Rachel asked her.  
"You are sweetie."

Cuddy walked off into the kitchen with a bemused Rachel behind her. Rachel began to limp after her, crutch still in hand.

"But I didn't say anything remotely funny... Ooo we making pancakes?" She asked after seeing the ingredients out on the work surface. This caused another laugh from Cuddy at the sudden change of discussion all because of food.

* * *

A badly played C chord awoke House from his slumber. He looked up from his desk.

"Put Lisa down."  
"You call your guitar Lisa?" Wilson asked.  
"Yer, named after the best shag I've ever had."

Wilson put down the guitar with a look of disgust on his face as if it was something far dirtier.

"You do know that's too much information."  
"Yes. What I don't know is why you were attempting a chord on Lisa?"  
"I knew it'd get your attention, instead of me calling your name several times while you pretend to be asleep."  
"Well it worked."  
"Exactly. Do you know it's gone eleven?"  
"Hence, why I was asleep."  
"I thought you were going to Cuddy's. You said you were going to talk to Rachel about Max. Seriously, I think something else happened that I missed when I saw them two talking." Wilson said concerned as he sat opposite him.  
"Yer I know." House rubbed his face, he was exhausted. "Patient took a sudden turn for the worse. I'll talk to her tomorrow."  
"Why don't you go home? Or to Cuddy's. You can't do anymore for him at the moment."

House leant back. He knew this but didn't need Wilson reconfirming it. He was missing something in his current case and it was beginning to build on extra stress which didn't help the pain in his leg. The intentional trip from Max didn't help either. He rubbed it as another dose of pain shot through it.

"Seriously, go home." Wilson said noticing his pain and got up from his seat. Wilson had a long night ahead of him as a patient of his was going to die very soon, and him having no family he agreed to stay with him till the end. Last thing he needed was House hassling him. This wasn't why he wanted House to go home, but it was a small factor.

And if House was true to himself, lying next to Cuddy was much better than lying on his awkward chair trying to sleep.

House nodded to Wilson. As Wilson left, House began to grab his things together and headed to the parking lot.

As he approached his motorcycle he began to text Cuddy. He smiled to himself at the rudeness of the text but the jist of it was that he was coming over to hers. As he sat on his bike he hit the send button and placed the phone back in his jacket pocket. As he lifted his helmet to place on his head a hand fell suddenly on his shoulder causing him to whip round quickly.

Next thing he remembered was a pain shooting through his cheek and he was suddenly on the floor. One more blow to the stomach and one more to his head... he was out.


	4. Chapter 4

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Thank you so much for so many comments and reviews. Love reading them! And someone picked up on the fact that if they had met in college, how comes House and Cuddy don't remember? Or does Cuddy remember but she's not telling House? But then House should know, he picks up on everything- doesn't he? So many questions lol! Don't worry it isn't a silly mistake, that was intentional and it will be revealed soon- i think lol.

**Hope you enjoy the next chapter! A little shorter, but it seemed a fitting place to stop for now.**

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It was when it reached 2am, when Cuddy decided to do something. House text her hours ago saying he'd be coming round to hers. Most probably he stopped off at a bar to drown his sorrows about not solving his case yet. But she had an awful feeling something else was wrong. Instead of his phone cutting off or going straight to voicemail which it usually did when he ignored calls, it just rang.

Wilson was sitting at his desk with his head in his hands. His patient had finally passed away and although in his profession he sees death a lot, it doesn't mean he's got used to it. His phone made him jump when he heard it ringing and was surprised to see it was Cuddy calling.

"Hey Cuddy." He answered.  
"Hey, sorry Wilson is this a bad time." She asked remembering his patient.  
"No it's fine," He wiped his eyes. "He passed away not long ago."  
"I'm so sorry Wilson."  
"It's alright, it was inevitable. What's up?"  
"Is House still at the hospital?"  
"No, I thought he left hours ago."  
"Hmm, me too."  
"He's probably had a bright idea about his patient or something. Or gone to..."  
"Drown his sorrows. I know. I don't normally worry, but I just have a bad feeling about something."  
"Well I'm off home now so I'll pop into the locals on the way back, see if he's there."  
"Thanks."  
"Anytime, speak soon."

* * *

Wilson walked out into the parking lot and saw House's motorbike still parked in its usual space, right beside the elevator lift. He thought that was strange in itself. House usually parked right out the hospital entrance, but he assumed it must have been the snow that caused House to park it inside.

It was then when he noticed House's helmet on the floor about a foot away. Then he saw the body lying next to it. His heart began to race as he ran over to House, half hoping it wasn't him but knowing it couldn't be anyone else.

"House!" He shouted as he got there. He was out cold, with a small pool of blood by his head. "Oh god!" Wilson continued as he lifted House's head onto his lap after he assessed the damage. He felt for his pulse, it was strong. He grabbed his phone out of his pocket and called for help. He quickly assessed House whilst trying to wake him. It didn't look too serious, he was concerned by the laceration in his head, but he'd not lost a lot of blood considering he must have been laying there for hours.

* * *

His eyes fluttered open, and a bright light shot down his right retina, then his left. This abusive light caused him to shut his eyes tight and this action brought a thumping pain in his head.

"House." A familiar voice called.  
"I'm not opening my eyes until you've put that light away."  
"I needed to check your pupils. Stop being so childish."

House slowly opened his eyes and saw that the room's main light was still bright and making his head pain even more.

"Turn the light out." He demanded. Cuddy sighed. One day he'd learn some manners she thought. She did as she was told and he finally opened his eyes fully.

"Where am I?" He asked still bemused about what had happened.  
"In the hospital." She replied sitting on the end of his bed.

He looked around. He was in his own room but from the absence of paperwork and gown, he knew he hadn't been admitted, which was always a good sign.

"You've got quite a shiner there." Cuddy smiled pointing to his cheek, but House could see the worry all over her face.

He attempted to sit up but a pain shot through his stomach. He lifted his top and saw a nasty bruise on his lower abdomen.

"Do you remember what happened?" Cuddy asked.

House felt the back of his head. There was a large bump and he could feel dried blood.

"Not really. I got knocked out, evidently." This caused Cuddy to sigh. House rolled his eyes at her needing more information.  
"I got knocked off my bike. I remember being punched, but then nothing." He finally answered.  
"Did you see who did it?"  
"No." He replied bluntly.  
"Right, we'll check out the CCTV footage."  
"I'm guessing my bike's been knicked. Or my phone?"  
"Nope. Everything was still there. Wilson found you lying next to your bike."

House looked up at the clock in his room. It was six am. He was deep in thought. If it wasn't an attack to get something he owned, then it was personal. Someone who had a grudge with him. Cuddy knew this too, but was trying not to act worried, although House could read her so easily.

Suddenly Wilson walked in with blood over his shirt.

"Thank god." He sighed as he saw House was awake.  
"Was that me?" House asked seeing Wilson's shirt.  
"Yes. I expect you to pay the dry cleaning bill, or failing that, a new shirt!"

House felt almost embarrassed. He always did when he had to rely on someone else. He was grateful but of course never phrased it quite right. He just smiled, he didn't have the energy to come back with a witty come back. Besides his head was full of questions. Who would do this? Why would they attack him? Could it be Max, he'd already tripped him earlier that day. And why since seeing that man in the ER for the first time did he feel like he'd seen him before? That particular question had been bugging him all day.


End file.
